Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
How's work?
Spinning.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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