Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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