Please, let me fuck your mom
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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