i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
