hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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