I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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