Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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