I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize