We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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