Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
