walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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