I am full of burrito and curiosity
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize