You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
