hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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