Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
