Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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