I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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