Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
