Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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