I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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