She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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