I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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