you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
