dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize