i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
