I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Your dad touched me again.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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