It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
