Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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