Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Do vagina's smell?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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