I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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