That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
