She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
