woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He has the fingertips of a God
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
