but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
