Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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