then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
