I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
