You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
