if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
