Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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