It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
