all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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