I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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