i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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