Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
