He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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