Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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