i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
This is classic penis vs brain.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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