I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize