I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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