and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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