Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
