You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
