I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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