btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
