The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
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