I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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