I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
