i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
