i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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