It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
