Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
how does that bad decision feel?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
