True but thats because hes a fetus.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
